Cliff ~ Author

​​​Incomprehensible ©
          ~by Cliff Newman

Since January 29th 2001 when a real
doctor forced me off the job, it has been
over sixteen years since I worked the
graveyard shift in 7-Eleven Stores but
sometimes the memories of those eleven
thousand nights I did work there facing
some of the worlds worst enemy's flood
my conscious thoughts…  often troubling
​me greatly.

Did I really do that?!

True…  it wasn’t as bad after the timed accessed safe was created.  If a customer came in and gave you a twenty dollar bill, you could just put it in the timed accessed safe and there were no armed robber(s) with guns who could get it away from you [the pathetic little gun things had no power over that safe] and many lives were saved because of it.

Now before the timed accessed safe, it was a very different story for it was a literal war zone of armed robberies every night [sometimes multiple times a night].

According to some sources the murdered employee rate before the timed accessed safe was created was upwards of forty percent [40%] nightly.  Oh sure…  there was the floor safe but the days receipts were locked up in there at night so when the armed robber(s) came in… you may have hidden the extra money that came in on your work shift but the robbers...  well they knew you knew where it was.

Oh yes…  I remember quite well those nights before the timed accessed safe.  Sometimes there would be two or three armed robberies a
night and yes…  I do remember all of those pathetic
little gun things being shoved in my face by raging
angry young men [and women] thinking that their
little pistol gave them some power or hold over me.

But it did not!

This morning the opener [a young man] at the
distribution center where I get the newspapers I'm
now delivering every night, had come over and
​spoken to me and as he turned to walk away…  
​there was just something about the way he turned that reminded me of the gunmen turning to walk away from me at the store with their gun still in their hand after they had failed to get the money from me and suddenly…  like a bolt of lightening…  I realized [remembered] that I had faced several thousand angry raging young men with guns in their hands threatening to kill me if I didn’t hand over the money…  and then them dying...  all the while my hands were empty.

Several thousand?  Incomprehensible!

OK…  so usually there was only one robber and
sometimes one or two but one night thirteen
assassin’s [angry men] with guns in their hands
ran into the store, surrounded and faced me and
another time there were nine [sometimes five] but
this was a never ending story, a plague if you will
that sometimes still goes on to ​this day.

I mean…  night [grin].

A plague I faced alone and unarmed every night for eleven thousand night [that's three decades] and as ‘Incomprehensible’ as it may seem to you that I have faced several thousand armed robbers and murderers [including Italian hitmen, assassins imported out of New York, crazed raging drug lords with machine guns and mad screaming Islamic Muslim terrorists]…  I did do it.

Want to play cops and robbers with me?  I’ll let you be the good guy [smirk].

Of course you won’t survive.  The only gunmen who survived facing me did so by out running me…  usually with their gun still in their hand, running hard for their life and…  breathless!

If you can imagine my then six hundred pound body with my hands empty chasing an armed gunman who is desperately running from me in shear terror and fear for his life [and I’m gaining on him] and the gunman knowing without any
doubt that if he slows to shot me...  I will run over him
like a train wreck.

Go figure that [grin]!

Looking back at my eleven thousand nights working
the graveyard shift in 7-Eleven Stores, facing several
thousand gunmen…  I have mixed emotions, memories
and feelings…  one moment feeling thoughts of great
power and grandeur and the next at how dumb can
someone be to have done this insanity.

Oh yes…  often over the years I referred to the gunmen
as 'boneheads' but then...  who was the bonehead that
went there to work every night for thirty years and faced
​this evil darkness?

That would be me [grin]!

Until the next time I put ink on paper,

​Your little fat buddy…
Crazy Cliff